An introductory tail

May I firstly congratulate you on your good taste. Cats are a waste of space and even more irritating than crabs.... or wasps – but don’t get me started on wasps.

So, hey, how are you Todday? Been keeping well? Yes, I may be opinionated but I am man’s best friend and I do care about y’all, well most humans. Hell, who’d feed me if you guys didn’t?! So, thanks for that and thanks for coming to my site. Dogs are pack animals and we rely on you guys to hang out with and, of course, to stroke our egos and in my case generate internet traffic so welcome one and all. Well all except cat-owners. Goddamit just the thought of them makes my heckles rise. THEY’RE the ones who are responsible for there being so many Todding cats around. LISTEN UP MORONS, STOP BUYING THEM, STOP BREEDING THEM OR AT LEAST STOP FEEDING THEM. The world would be a better place. You know it makes sense. Never mind do-goody parking bays for disabled dudes or saving the damn whales, you could improve this planet tenfold by moggie murdering: the final solution to the miaow menace. I can dream.....

On that note, do I look as stupid when I dream as the bitch I live with? By the way that’s Roxy, not my owner (no names, no pack-drill – at this stage I need to protect her from the curse of fame and the “papaRATzi”). Yeh Roxy looks like she’s having an epi when she dreams: all twitches and air-running, it’s embarrassing and I sure hope I don’t do that. I did try to save her dignity the first time by pouncing on her, but clearly this frightened the hell out of her judging by the howl and the little bit of wee that escaped: we both got told off for that, which was unfair as Roxy was the one behaving like a tit, I was just trying to help.

That’s just the story of my life I guess: often misunderstood, but generally my heart’s in the right place: okay admittedly not always, but it is at least inside my rib-cage rather than on a korean’s plate, but you can judge for yourself from reading my stories: you can access them from this page so go on.... FETCH!

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