Celebz

Dogs will identify with this site. Not all humans will. It may contain material that causes offence to most religions, cultures, women, men, animals, racists, minorities, majorities or anyone that can read, or is politically correct, but I'm a dog that begs..... mainly for food, but also the question "Can dogs be politically correct"?

I don’t have a whole lot of experience with these rug rats, but why should that stop me having an opinion of them? Thankfully most of the places I lived were child-free zones and my current owner doesn’t have any. According to the many wine, snot and tears calls she’s made to her mates it’s something to do with “the change” and even though my hearing’s good, I just couldn’t hear the other half of the conversation to work out what this means.

Firstly, paws up who knows Houdini? Well done the few. For the remaining mentally challenged, he was an escape artist. I don’t mean the Shawshank Redemption type, I mean the David Blaine type (wait a second, the freak detectors gone off: weeeirdohhhh weeeeeirdohhhhh) Seriously, who stands on a column in the cold for EVER out of choice? My nipples shoot out and my nuts shoot in after just 5 minutes of hanging around in the garden after my nightly pee....

Are they the divine Dog’s creation or the work of the devil? That kinda depends on your viewpoint. I love ‘em, unless I pop one when I’m asleep - in the confusion it feels like I’ve had my tushie invaded by a midget’s handshake. Generally though I’d give farting a 9/10 on the Toddy Scale.

We are gathered here today brethren to sanctify Dog’s slimey creation. Mmmmm, muddddd! Sure it feels and smells great, but its real value lies in the apoplectic fit it seems to cause humans! A mild-mannered housewife soon turns into a Desperate Housewife with a little planning....